Okay, so it's been a couple months (again) since I have posted. What happened? Well, August and September happened. I found out these months are very busy times at work. In addition, we had our own back to school adjustments to make with Will starting his new "big boy" school. Throw in Billy traveling for work off and on and the last couple months have flown by.
Over the last couple months I have begun to feel especially drawn to adoption through foster care. I met a couple through work who now have custody of their grandchildren. Listening to their story, with both day to day struggles and triumphs, has been both inspiring and scary at the same time. Are we cut out to knowingly walk into something like that? I simply don't know. And just when I start to feel drawn that direction, I start a book that has hints of international adoption sprinkled throughout it. Maybe that's a sign... Maybe that's why we've landed in a faith community that is so culturally diverse... Seriously, when the time is right, God is just going to have to hit me over the head with how he wants to grow our family because y'all, I'm clueless!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Back to Business
After taking time away from the blog to buy a house, remodel it, move, get settled, and start a new part-time job, I am back. We are very excited about our new home which will allow us to continue to grow our family. With some of the chaos of the "house stuff" behind us, I find my mind once again back on adoption. In my heart I desperately want to adopt as soon as possible; however in my head I know that since we want to have another biological child it makes logical sense to do so while I am younger. Maybe God will have other plans for us. We'll just have to wait and see...
Sometimes I question whether I should have started this blog, knowing that we likely won't be adopting for quite some time, but then I think about how many doors have been opened due to the fact that more people know about our desire to adopt at some point. I have been introduced to a number of families who are in the process of adoption right now. One is doing an international adoption of two boys with varying levels of disabilities, one is trying to adopt through the foster care system, and one recently completed the private adoption of a newborn.
Also, I think it will be interesting one day to look back and read how time and experiences may change my views on certain aspects of adoption (it has already happened once). I'm an avid watcher of I'm Having Their Baby, a reality TV show I blogged about in the past. This show in and of itself has helped change me from being afraid of any kind of open adoption to not wanting to do anything other than at least a semi-open adoption (if we do an international adoption or adopt from foster care this is not always an option). Adoption is not a selfish decision, it's a selfless one, and this show has shown this to be the case. Having carried my own biological children for 39-40+ weeks, I know the bond that inevitably forms. The courage it takes to place that child with another (generally much more stable) family is the ultimate of sacrifices. I now understand that some level of openness, hands down, is best for the birth mom and the adopted child, and I don't want my fears or insecurities to prevent communication should that be what the birth mom wants or needs.
Sometimes I question whether I should have started this blog, knowing that we likely won't be adopting for quite some time, but then I think about how many doors have been opened due to the fact that more people know about our desire to adopt at some point. I have been introduced to a number of families who are in the process of adoption right now. One is doing an international adoption of two boys with varying levels of disabilities, one is trying to adopt through the foster care system, and one recently completed the private adoption of a newborn.
Also, I think it will be interesting one day to look back and read how time and experiences may change my views on certain aspects of adoption (it has already happened once). I'm an avid watcher of I'm Having Their Baby, a reality TV show I blogged about in the past. This show in and of itself has helped change me from being afraid of any kind of open adoption to not wanting to do anything other than at least a semi-open adoption (if we do an international adoption or adopt from foster care this is not always an option). Adoption is not a selfish decision, it's a selfless one, and this show has shown this to be the case. Having carried my own biological children for 39-40+ weeks, I know the bond that inevitably forms. The courage it takes to place that child with another (generally much more stable) family is the ultimate of sacrifices. I now understand that some level of openness, hands down, is best for the birth mom and the adopted child, and I don't want my fears or insecurities to prevent communication should that be what the birth mom wants or needs.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
A Chance In The World
If you're looking for a great read, check out "A Chance In The World: An Orphan Boy, a Mysterious Past, and How He Found a Place Called Home", an autobiography by Steve Pemberton. Pretty sure I read it in about 3 days (I have a problem where I stay up insanely late reading once I've started a new book). His website conveys the power of his life journey in much better words than I could ever hope to find:
"Home is the place where our life stories begin. It is where we are understood, embraced, and accepted. It is a sanctuary of safety and security, a place to which we can always return.
Down in the dank basement, amid my moldy, hoarded food and wormeaten books, I dreamed that my real home, the place where my story had begun, was out there somewhere, and one day I was going to find it.
Taken from his mother at age three, Steve Klakowicz lives a terrifying existence. Caught in the clutches of a cruel foster family and subjected to constant abuse, Steve finds his only refuge in a box of books given to him by a kind stranger. In these books, he discovers new worlds he can only imagine and begins to hope that one day he might have a different life—that one day he will find his true home.
A fair-complexioned boy with blue eyes, a curly Afro, and a Polish last name, he is determined to unravel the mystery of his origins and find his birth family. Armed with just a single clue, Steve embarks on an extraordinary quest for his identity, only to learn that nothing is as it appears.
A Chance in the World is the unbelievably true story of a wounded and broken boy destined to become a man of resilience, determination, and vision. Through it all, Steve’s story teaches us that no matter how broken our past, no matter how great our misfortunes, we have it in us to create a new beginning and to build a place where love awaits." -www.chanceintheworld.com
Though parts of his life journey are hard to read about and unimaginable to most of us, his rise from the ashes is beyond inspiring. He is now the Chief Diversity Officer and Divisional Vice-President for Walgreens--amazing!
"Home is the place where our life stories begin. It is where we are understood, embraced, and accepted. It is a sanctuary of safety and security, a place to which we can always return.
Down in the dank basement, amid my moldy, hoarded food and wormeaten books, I dreamed that my real home, the place where my story had begun, was out there somewhere, and one day I was going to find it.
Taken from his mother at age three, Steve Klakowicz lives a terrifying existence. Caught in the clutches of a cruel foster family and subjected to constant abuse, Steve finds his only refuge in a box of books given to him by a kind stranger. In these books, he discovers new worlds he can only imagine and begins to hope that one day he might have a different life—that one day he will find his true home.
A fair-complexioned boy with blue eyes, a curly Afro, and a Polish last name, he is determined to unravel the mystery of his origins and find his birth family. Armed with just a single clue, Steve embarks on an extraordinary quest for his identity, only to learn that nothing is as it appears.
A Chance in the World is the unbelievably true story of a wounded and broken boy destined to become a man of resilience, determination, and vision. Through it all, Steve’s story teaches us that no matter how broken our past, no matter how great our misfortunes, we have it in us to create a new beginning and to build a place where love awaits." -www.chanceintheworld.com
Though parts of his life journey are hard to read about and unimaginable to most of us, his rise from the ashes is beyond inspiring. He is now the Chief Diversity Officer and Divisional Vice-President for Walgreens--amazing!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
If you're looking for an entertaining yet heartwarming movie for this weekend, look no further than The Odd Life of Timothy Green. The movie follows a couple who learns that they are unable to conceive a child. While they grieve the biological child that would never be, a magical thunderstorm delivers to them a 10 year old boy, Timothy, who is the epitome of what they had hoped for. Timothy teaches the Greens and the rest of their small town many lessons during his short time in existence. Timothy not only helps the Greens through the grieving process, but he prepares their home and their hearts for the adopted child in their future.
While I have been fortunate to have been able to conceive, I can imagine how important in those circumstances it is to grieve the biological child that never was. A good friend of mine has two adopted sons, and she will be the first to tell you that her sons didn't replace or try to make up for the biological children she was not destined to have. She first grieved that loss, that inability, and then when her heart was whole again she and her husband welcomed their two amazing sons into their home. What an important movie to delve into this particular area of the adoption world.
While I have been fortunate to have been able to conceive, I can imagine how important in those circumstances it is to grieve the biological child that never was. A good friend of mine has two adopted sons, and she will be the first to tell you that her sons didn't replace or try to make up for the biological children she was not destined to have. She first grieved that loss, that inability, and then when her heart was whole again she and her husband welcomed their two amazing sons into their home. What an important movie to delve into this particular area of the adoption world.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Reece's Rainbow
A recent Facebook post by a close friend led me to an amazing family of 7 (her sister's family) who is in the early stages of adopting a 4 year old little boy named Steven. Steven is from an Eastern European country and has been diagnosed with Ataxic cerebral palsy. To follow this family's story, or to make a tax deductible donation directly to Steven's adoption costs (approx. $25,000), visit http://fiveplusonemore.blogspot.com/.
Steven is being adopted by this family through Reece's Rainbow Adoption Ministry. Reece's Rainbow focuses on the international adoption of children diagnosed with Downs Syndrome. For more information on Reece's Rainbow, or to donate to the adoption of one of the listed orphans, visit http://www.reecesrainbow.com.
Steven is being adopted by this family through Reece's Rainbow Adoption Ministry. Reece's Rainbow focuses on the international adoption of children diagnosed with Downs Syndrome. For more information on Reece's Rainbow, or to donate to the adoption of one of the listed orphans, visit http://www.reecesrainbow.com.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Stories to Share
Well, it's National Adoption Awareness Month so what better time than now to get back to blogging. Over the past few months my husband has been on an intense job search, so thoughts/talk about adoption have been on the back burner. He will be starting his new job one week from today. We spent Thanksgiving with family last week, and boy do we have a lot to be thankful for! Here are a few happy adoption stories (each family adopting in a different way) from Parents.com to welcome the Christmas season...
Erin and John Anhalt: Open Adoption
The couple, who live in the Florida panhandle, had endured multiple miscarriages before choosing to adopt domestically. They completed the process through an agency and brought home their newborn girl. But four days later they received devastating news: The biological mother had decided to raise the child herself. The agency had warned the Anhalts that some birth moms change their mind after the baby has been placed. (In their case, the biological mother had delayed signing away her rights, which was probably a clue to her intentions.) But it was one more setback for the Anhalts. "You have this baby, in your home, in your arms. You think that she is your daughter," says Erin. "And then she isn't."
Fortunately, the Anhalts -- Erin, 28, worked in retail sales, and John, 29, is an officer in the Navy -- didn't have to grieve their loss for long. Within a month, the agency set up a meeting with a 24-year-old woman who was in her seventh month of pregnancy. The couple spent several weeks getting to know her and asking probing questions. "We wanted to make sure that no one was pressuring her to give up the baby and that she'd thought about the emotional impact of doing so," says Erin. "We felt confident that she had, and she chose us to be the adoptive parents."
Both women had good reasons for wanting an open adoption. The birth mother was an adoptee herself. And Erin had never met her father, who vanished soon after her mom became pregnant. Erin and the birth mom connected right away. She and John drove several hours to attend the birth mom's ob-gyn visits, and they joined her in the delivery room. But as Erin left the hospital with Alison in her arms, she felt strangely conflicted. "I was thrilled about having a baby," she says, "but I felt real sadness for the birth mom's loss, because we'd made a real connection."
Their friendship has blossomed during the last two years. Erin talks to the birth mom several times a week and shares every detail of Alison's life as a toddler. Each has met the other's extended family, and they exchange birthday and Christmas gifts. Still, the Anhalts stress that they aren't coparenting. "To Allie, Erin is 'Mommy.' Her birth mom is more like a member of our extended family," says John. Both sides are committed to making the dynamic work, for their child's sake. "Alison is a very happy kid," says Erin. "I'm grateful that she'll always know her adoption story and how much she is loved by her birth mom."
Gretchen and Justin McWhorter: Semi-Open Adoption
The Atlanta couple had tried to get pregnant for a year, then endured two years of failed fertility treatments. Finally, they decided to adopt domestically -- but not without reservations. Gretchen, 30, a publicist, and Justin, 32, an executive recruiter, worried that they might have a long wait and were intimidated about maintaining a relationship with the birth mother. "We had some concerns," says Gretchen. "Wouldn't it be confusing to the child?" And what if the birth mom decided to take the baby away from them?
Since most birth mothers insist on at least some contact, the McWhorters finally settled on "semi-open" adoption: They would agree to meet the birth mother beforehand and send periodic notes about their child's progress. A friend referred the couple to an adoption agency, which had them create a "profile," a book of photos and letters designed to show that they would make suitable parents ("It was like putting together a scrapbook of our lives," says Gretchen). A month later, they received word that a single woman in her early 20s, in her last trimester of pregnancy, wanted to speak to them. "I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing," says Gretchen. But the two women hit it off, and within two weeks the birth mom picked the couple to be the adoptive parents. It was an exceptionally fast agreement -- private domestic matches often take a year or longer.
The McWhorters met the birth mother for dinner shortly before her due date and were by her side when she went into labor. "I kept saying to her, 'Kick me out at any point. I don't have to be here.' But she wanted us to stay," says Gretchen. The birth mom had Justin cut the cord, then invited Gretchen to give baby Elizabeth her first bottle. She let the newborn spend her first night with the couple (who stayed in an adjacent hospital room) and signed away her rights the next day. "Everyone was crying when we left," Gretchen recalls, "except the baby."
But it wasn't really a goodbye. Gretchen sends e-mails and photos of Elizabeth (who's now 11 months old) every week. And having read research that shows adopted children do better when they learn about their birth parents, she isn't ruling out the possibility of inviting the birth mom to visit them one day. "I believe it's in Elizabeth's best interest for us to be more open," Gretchen says. "And that's what matters most."
Erna Naert and Edward Hiar: Foster Care Adoption
By the time the Lynwood, Washington, couple decided they wanted a child, Erna was nearly 41, so adoption was the most logical option. They heard through relatives about a pregnant teenager who planned to give up her baby. After meeting her and her parents, a match was made. But the teen decided to raise the child by herself. Deeply disappointed, the couple -- Erna, now 45, a technology consultant, and Edward, 40, a development director at a software firm -- chose to adopt through foster care. This route offered several benefits: a relatively short waiting period (placement often occurs within months), lower costs ($2,500 or less), and state adoption subsidies (these vary depending on the special needs of the child). But it's not for everyone. Most foster-care kids are school-age, and some carry the emotional scars of having been neglected or abused by their parents. Erna and Edward weren't scared off. "It's no different from what some children in orphanages overseas have been through," says Erna. "And at least you get a detailed history of the child."
Soon after completing their paperwork last summer, the couple received a call about Christian, a 4-year-old boy whose mother was a drug addict and whose father was in prison. They were told that Christian exhibited "defiant behaviors." But they were drawn to him. "He was playing with the other kids at his temporary foster home, but then he'd run back to sit beside us and show us a toy," says Edward. "He seemed like a normal, sweet kid." When they returned a week later to bring Christian home, they met his 8-year-old half sister, Kai. "It was supposed to be their goodbye visit," says Erna. "But after watching the two play and laugh together, Ed said, 'You know they will be separated forever.' And I said, 'I know. What do you think?' He said, 'We should adopt Kai.' And I said, 'Sure,' and that was it."
Erna and Edward have been stabilizing forces in their kids' lives. Kai was recently diagnosed with a visual processing disorder, so they hired tutors and helped her do eye exercises to correct the problem. Now she's reading at grade level. Christian acts out a lot less than he did in his old home. At 5 he's already an avid reader. "Being a parent is the most important thing I will ever do," says Erna. "There's a simple joy in seeing our kids sleep peacefully in their beds -- because I know the chaos they lived in before."
Laurie and Travis Good: International Adoption
The Denver couple always wanted to raise a child from Vietnam. Laurie, 28, a recent medical-school graduate, and Travis, 29, a medical-school student, had traveled extensively in the country and felt drawn to its people and culture. But they knew that internationally adopted children can be at risk for physical and psychological problems, so they hoped to have a biological child first. "We thought we'd be better equipped to deal with the potential challenges once we had some experience as parents," says Laurie.
But after having trouble conceiving, they accelerated their adoption plans and received a referral for a boy within six months (the wait for a girl from Vietnam was 18 months or longer). Upon arriving at the orphanage in the town of Vung Tau, they were ushered into a room where a worker thrust 5-month-old Jackson into Laurie's arms, then showed the couple the door. "They basically tossed us the baby and said, 'Good luck,'" says Laurie. "We didn't know anything about his feeding schedule, his naps, his needs."
The first few months were tough because Jackson had serious attachment issues. He wouldn't make eye contact, arched his back to avoid hugs, and wailed inconsolably. Bedtime was a two-hour ordeal: He'd pull at his hair and scratch his skin before finally going to sleep. The couple consulted a social worker to ease the transition, and gradually Jackson's behavior improved. Within a year the Goods were ready to adopt a second child. And then they got the news that Laurie was pregnant. "Until I heard the heartbeat, I didn't really believe it," says Travis. But they moved ahead with their second adoption, returning to Vietnam last December to meet 6-month-old Shane. He was affectionate right away. The Goods spent four hours playing with him and felt ready to take him home.
Only they couldn't. Because of diplomatic conflicts, the Good family stayed in Vietnam for seven weeks waiting for approval. "I would never have asked for this delay," says Laurie, "but in the end it gave us all time to bond with Shane." Soon after returning to the States they had another family addition: Finley, their daughter, was born in March. While the boys are still getting used to sharing attention with their baby sister, the Goods are starting to feel settled. "The biggest thing is making one-on-one time so each child feels special," Laurie says. "It's a lot of work, but we're happy with the family we've built."
Erin and John Anhalt: Open Adoption
The couple, who live in the Florida panhandle, had endured multiple miscarriages before choosing to adopt domestically. They completed the process through an agency and brought home their newborn girl. But four days later they received devastating news: The biological mother had decided to raise the child herself. The agency had warned the Anhalts that some birth moms change their mind after the baby has been placed. (In their case, the biological mother had delayed signing away her rights, which was probably a clue to her intentions.) But it was one more setback for the Anhalts. "You have this baby, in your home, in your arms. You think that she is your daughter," says Erin. "And then she isn't."
Fortunately, the Anhalts -- Erin, 28, worked in retail sales, and John, 29, is an officer in the Navy -- didn't have to grieve their loss for long. Within a month, the agency set up a meeting with a 24-year-old woman who was in her seventh month of pregnancy. The couple spent several weeks getting to know her and asking probing questions. "We wanted to make sure that no one was pressuring her to give up the baby and that she'd thought about the emotional impact of doing so," says Erin. "We felt confident that she had, and she chose us to be the adoptive parents."
Both women had good reasons for wanting an open adoption. The birth mother was an adoptee herself. And Erin had never met her father, who vanished soon after her mom became pregnant. Erin and the birth mom connected right away. She and John drove several hours to attend the birth mom's ob-gyn visits, and they joined her in the delivery room. But as Erin left the hospital with Alison in her arms, she felt strangely conflicted. "I was thrilled about having a baby," she says, "but I felt real sadness for the birth mom's loss, because we'd made a real connection."
Their friendship has blossomed during the last two years. Erin talks to the birth mom several times a week and shares every detail of Alison's life as a toddler. Each has met the other's extended family, and they exchange birthday and Christmas gifts. Still, the Anhalts stress that they aren't coparenting. "To Allie, Erin is 'Mommy.' Her birth mom is more like a member of our extended family," says John. Both sides are committed to making the dynamic work, for their child's sake. "Alison is a very happy kid," says Erin. "I'm grateful that she'll always know her adoption story and how much she is loved by her birth mom."
Gretchen and Justin McWhorter: Semi-Open Adoption
The Atlanta couple had tried to get pregnant for a year, then endured two years of failed fertility treatments. Finally, they decided to adopt domestically -- but not without reservations. Gretchen, 30, a publicist, and Justin, 32, an executive recruiter, worried that they might have a long wait and were intimidated about maintaining a relationship with the birth mother. "We had some concerns," says Gretchen. "Wouldn't it be confusing to the child?" And what if the birth mom decided to take the baby away from them?
Since most birth mothers insist on at least some contact, the McWhorters finally settled on "semi-open" adoption: They would agree to meet the birth mother beforehand and send periodic notes about their child's progress. A friend referred the couple to an adoption agency, which had them create a "profile," a book of photos and letters designed to show that they would make suitable parents ("It was like putting together a scrapbook of our lives," says Gretchen). A month later, they received word that a single woman in her early 20s, in her last trimester of pregnancy, wanted to speak to them. "I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing," says Gretchen. But the two women hit it off, and within two weeks the birth mom picked the couple to be the adoptive parents. It was an exceptionally fast agreement -- private domestic matches often take a year or longer.
The McWhorters met the birth mother for dinner shortly before her due date and were by her side when she went into labor. "I kept saying to her, 'Kick me out at any point. I don't have to be here.' But she wanted us to stay," says Gretchen. The birth mom had Justin cut the cord, then invited Gretchen to give baby Elizabeth her first bottle. She let the newborn spend her first night with the couple (who stayed in an adjacent hospital room) and signed away her rights the next day. "Everyone was crying when we left," Gretchen recalls, "except the baby."
But it wasn't really a goodbye. Gretchen sends e-mails and photos of Elizabeth (who's now 11 months old) every week. And having read research that shows adopted children do better when they learn about their birth parents, she isn't ruling out the possibility of inviting the birth mom to visit them one day. "I believe it's in Elizabeth's best interest for us to be more open," Gretchen says. "And that's what matters most."
Erna Naert and Edward Hiar: Foster Care Adoption
By the time the Lynwood, Washington, couple decided they wanted a child, Erna was nearly 41, so adoption was the most logical option. They heard through relatives about a pregnant teenager who planned to give up her baby. After meeting her and her parents, a match was made. But the teen decided to raise the child by herself. Deeply disappointed, the couple -- Erna, now 45, a technology consultant, and Edward, 40, a development director at a software firm -- chose to adopt through foster care. This route offered several benefits: a relatively short waiting period (placement often occurs within months), lower costs ($2,500 or less), and state adoption subsidies (these vary depending on the special needs of the child). But it's not for everyone. Most foster-care kids are school-age, and some carry the emotional scars of having been neglected or abused by their parents. Erna and Edward weren't scared off. "It's no different from what some children in orphanages overseas have been through," says Erna. "And at least you get a detailed history of the child."
Soon after completing their paperwork last summer, the couple received a call about Christian, a 4-year-old boy whose mother was a drug addict and whose father was in prison. They were told that Christian exhibited "defiant behaviors." But they were drawn to him. "He was playing with the other kids at his temporary foster home, but then he'd run back to sit beside us and show us a toy," says Edward. "He seemed like a normal, sweet kid." When they returned a week later to bring Christian home, they met his 8-year-old half sister, Kai. "It was supposed to be their goodbye visit," says Erna. "But after watching the two play and laugh together, Ed said, 'You know they will be separated forever.' And I said, 'I know. What do you think?' He said, 'We should adopt Kai.' And I said, 'Sure,' and that was it."
Erna and Edward have been stabilizing forces in their kids' lives. Kai was recently diagnosed with a visual processing disorder, so they hired tutors and helped her do eye exercises to correct the problem. Now she's reading at grade level. Christian acts out a lot less than he did in his old home. At 5 he's already an avid reader. "Being a parent is the most important thing I will ever do," says Erna. "There's a simple joy in seeing our kids sleep peacefully in their beds -- because I know the chaos they lived in before."
Laurie and Travis Good: International Adoption
The Denver couple always wanted to raise a child from Vietnam. Laurie, 28, a recent medical-school graduate, and Travis, 29, a medical-school student, had traveled extensively in the country and felt drawn to its people and culture. But they knew that internationally adopted children can be at risk for physical and psychological problems, so they hoped to have a biological child first. "We thought we'd be better equipped to deal with the potential challenges once we had some experience as parents," says Laurie.
But after having trouble conceiving, they accelerated their adoption plans and received a referral for a boy within six months (the wait for a girl from Vietnam was 18 months or longer). Upon arriving at the orphanage in the town of Vung Tau, they were ushered into a room where a worker thrust 5-month-old Jackson into Laurie's arms, then showed the couple the door. "They basically tossed us the baby and said, 'Good luck,'" says Laurie. "We didn't know anything about his feeding schedule, his naps, his needs."
The first few months were tough because Jackson had serious attachment issues. He wouldn't make eye contact, arched his back to avoid hugs, and wailed inconsolably. Bedtime was a two-hour ordeal: He'd pull at his hair and scratch his skin before finally going to sleep. The couple consulted a social worker to ease the transition, and gradually Jackson's behavior improved. Within a year the Goods were ready to adopt a second child. And then they got the news that Laurie was pregnant. "Until I heard the heartbeat, I didn't really believe it," says Travis. But they moved ahead with their second adoption, returning to Vietnam last December to meet 6-month-old Shane. He was affectionate right away. The Goods spent four hours playing with him and felt ready to take him home.
Only they couldn't. Because of diplomatic conflicts, the Good family stayed in Vietnam for seven weeks waiting for approval. "I would never have asked for this delay," says Laurie, "but in the end it gave us all time to bond with Shane." Soon after returning to the States they had another family addition: Finley, their daughter, was born in March. While the boys are still getting used to sharing attention with their baby sister, the Goods are starting to feel settled. "The biggest thing is making one-on-one time so each child feels special," Laurie says. "It's a lot of work, but we're happy with the family we've built."
Saturday, August 4, 2012
I'm Having Their Baby
A new reality television show recently aired on Oxygen titled "I'm Having Their Baby." I was pretty skeptical at first since I don't really care for reality t.v., other than a couple of the competitive ones on Food Network and a few on the main networks such as Who Do You Think You Are? (geneology), Secret Millionare, etc., but I have been pleasantly surprised.
Each episode presents two different birth moms who have decided to place their unborn children up for adoption. The episode follows the birth moms (and sometimes the selected adoptive parents) through the roller coaster that is adoption--birth moms changing their minds after the baby is born but before the paperwork is signed, family disagreeing with the birth mom's choice to place the child for adoption, birth moms changing their minds on who they want to adopt their child, etc.
The hard, raw emotions that are presented each week are somewhat tough to watch, but it is amazing to experience the process alongside the involved parties. Also explored a bit is open adoption. All of the stories I have seen so far have involved some level of openness since the birth moms chose the adoptive families; however, the level of openness following the adoption, while not explored too much on the show, seems to vary. When I first heard about any type of ongoing contact between a birth mom and the adoptive family, I will admit that it didn't seem like something I would want to do, but watching these girls (and sometimes women) making the hardest decisions of their lives has opened my eyes a bit to the fact that it's not just about the adoptive parents and the adopted child, but also about the lifelong impact on the birth mom.
Whether or not adoption may be in your family's future, this show is definitely worth checking out.
Each episode presents two different birth moms who have decided to place their unborn children up for adoption. The episode follows the birth moms (and sometimes the selected adoptive parents) through the roller coaster that is adoption--birth moms changing their minds after the baby is born but before the paperwork is signed, family disagreeing with the birth mom's choice to place the child for adoption, birth moms changing their minds on who they want to adopt their child, etc.
The hard, raw emotions that are presented each week are somewhat tough to watch, but it is amazing to experience the process alongside the involved parties. Also explored a bit is open adoption. All of the stories I have seen so far have involved some level of openness since the birth moms chose the adoptive families; however, the level of openness following the adoption, while not explored too much on the show, seems to vary. When I first heard about any type of ongoing contact between a birth mom and the adoptive family, I will admit that it didn't seem like something I would want to do, but watching these girls (and sometimes women) making the hardest decisions of their lives has opened my eyes a bit to the fact that it's not just about the adoptive parents and the adopted child, but also about the lifelong impact on the birth mom.
Whether or not adoption may be in your family's future, this show is definitely worth checking out.
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